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My Journal Blogs 2005 Welcome to my site its provided as an insight into the
complex process of managing chronic
illness (and for my ego too). One of the
most difficult aspects of this management is the ongoing struggle between
quality of life and the clinical desire by health professionals to stop the
reproduction of new hiv particles at
all costs. I have chosen an holistic way to monitor my lifestyle and health.
My refusal to discount any treatment options including those based in western
pharmacopoeia further enhances my long-term prospects. I should float myself
on the stock exchange of biohealth. Opportunistic junk bonds. Futures
speculation on improved t-cell counts.
The privitisation of public health draws closer as long as academia
abandons the working class, bla bla bla…excuse me I do get distracted. At 2005 Annual Retrovirus Conference
in the US, several thousand
healthcare providers, researchers, and community activists met for 5 days to
review the latest developments in the field of HIV. Information the covered
at the conference included new anti-HIV drugs, drug interactions, side
effects, vaccine research, and more. You can learn about the conference, and
read many of the research posters, and even hear some of the science
presentations by visiting the conference Web site: www.retroconference.org.
With the widespread use of
combination anti-HIV therapy, life-threatening "grade 4" events may
now be more common in HIV-infected patients than AIDS-defining illnesses. A
report presented at the conference looked back at over 3,000 patients
enrolled in 5 large clinical trials during December 1996 to August 2001. Of
these patients, 38% had a prior AIDS diagnosis and 45% had never taken
anti-HIV therapy. A total of 642 patients had been studied for at least 2.5
years and in this group 27% had a grade 4 event, 13.4% had an AIDS-defining
illness, and 10.6% died. The grade 4 events included liver problems (6.1%),
low white blood cell counts (3.9%), heart-related or cardiovascular problems
(3.2%), pancreatitis (2.2%), low red blood cell
counts (2.1%), psychiatric problems (2.1%), kidney problems (1.5%), low blood
platelets (1.2%), and internal bleeding or hemorrhage (0.9%). The risk of
death associated with a grade 4 event and the risk of death associated with
an AIDS-defining illness were both high. This study shows a changing profile
of how people with HIV get sick. More studies are needed to look at the
overall rates of such events and to better establish the risks and benefits
of anti-HIV therapy. The Body: The Center for AIDS: HIV Treatment ALERTS! --
Conference Highlights My 2003 blogs My 2004 blogs |
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2005 blogs… Jan
5, Hello
and welcome to a new year. Just a
slight change in the site with the inclusion of the AIDS - MYTH page and more
to come about that. The new year finds me in fine form, health is great, I
have been off HAART (highly active anti-retroviral treatments) for over two
months and am astonished at the renewed vitality I am experiencing. I should
add that the cessation of the treatments has been undertaken with an overall
revamp of my diet. I have also combined the services of a naturopath in the
micro-management of supplements and nutrients. I am now convinced that the
lack of attention western medicine pays to lifestyle as a causality of
disease progression leaves people decimated by toxic medication regimes. Jan 20, Another
month down the gurgler, time flies… I’ve
been very happy and am nourishing the softness in my nature daily. Health is
ok despite my doctors prognosis of me being very sick. Advances are made all
the time. Be peaceful and enjoy the time you have. Feb
16 Oh
my I have been negligent in my blogs. Forgive me but I’ve been distracted of
late, what with the continued decimation of aboriginal self determination,
the appalling treatment of refugees, the deconstruction of workers rights
hard won, the atrophied health (disease) agenda, our support (not mine) of
the EU resolution to resume arms sales to china, the ongoing conspiracy that
is modern Iraq, the clear felling of old growth forests, my softball
commitments and keeping enough food in the fridge to ensure my macrobiotic
lifestyle I just haven’t had a minute to spare darlings…perhaps a poem or two
as recompence. The
conquest of adversity Many years
now my
journey, deep
within a memory
of life before hiv, dressed as
it is, in the wonder of youth. The
montage of friends and lovers now lost to me the simple
lust faded an
acceptance an evasion
an
illusion a broken
surface rippled
with inevitability. Thinking My oceanic
mind a brier, a
haven, a hell. Me as
hostage, me as
captor, me as
liberator. A nexus to
all in
meditation, bound to myself. Observing
the journey without judgment my own
indifference to the
fantasy of meaning in words spoken
over an epoch of humanity. Concealed
in dreams of an external peace, more
illusion more
confusion just
laugh. BE NICE TO
YOURSELF. April
4th sheesh
its been ages. My health continues to grow outward and the advances made
regarding peace of mind through considered meditation seem unshakable. There
is an enormous amount of strength to be found in the simple knowledge of oneself,
although really knowing oneself beyond the experience of the ego is not easy
. That which grows within me cannot be diminished and shines brighter with
each noble truth, It is becoming increasingly clear to me that Buddhism
offers the only path to the cessation of suffering. Always
distressed at the ignorance of fellow citizens and their lemming like
appreciation of Howard, the social cost of the past ten years is yet to
manifest, and private prisons and an ever widening gap between those that have
and those who don’t will be the formula for civil strife for many decades
ahead . Don’t participate in a world
that would steal your identity. READ
BOOKS. Sunday
May 8th. Mothers day. long time between entries. I been busy
with livin’ and have recently taken
up a part time job with the local AFL football competition as a field
umpire. Great exercise and a whole
lota fun taboot. Suffice to say I’m hooked, being a tad old to play footy
it’s the next best thing. Also
working to establish a demonstration project looking at the formulation of a
Patient self management project for hiv monitoring and maintenance based on
the most successful demonstration project recently run by the Australian Arthritis Foundation. Initial work is being done in conjunction
with SHAIDS Northern Rivers, ACON and affected patient groups in the region.
this all requires attention and when not focused on external sufferings I
have been meditating each day and feel as fit as a malley bull (bloody ego
again…). Be nice to yourselves…volunteer for a day at the Lismore Soup
Kitchen…collect for the salvo’s…share something you value…reward your
pets…eat for your body not your brain…sack your thinking mind from the CEO
position and share the control evenly within your cosmos…walk on the ground
in bare feet…breath deeply often…be amazed every day by one thing. more next
month peeps. Still
bouncing around doctors trying to find out what the fuck is wrong with my
renal function, its haywire at the moment, debating a return to hiv meds and
liver transplant, never a dull moment, Been happy in life except for this out
of control kidney thang. I range from 98 KG’s to 84kg’s depending on fluid
accumulation. the past week I’ve hovered at 14 kg’s, 10 kg’s over my normal
weight. it’s a lot extra to carry about and makes running near impossible,
note to self, get a pushbike. More when I make time. August
10 What
a week. As I sit hear trying to summarise the past two weeks in my mind I
feel overwhelmed with the tale, a saga indeed, and very nearly the end of me
in this world. Allow me to start at the beginning, a very good place to start
I hear… mmmm….ok….So I’m in Lovely Ballina for some repairs on the car,
walking down the river front I am gripped with an intense pain in my right
side just to my right of my
bellybutton. Managed to get to the car and then found my way to hospital with
Stacy driving, into A&E (accident & emergency) and on to a bed. Pain
blinding and morphine given, x-ray taken and ambulance to Lismore Base
Hospital. arrive at Lismore morphed out of my tree and a catheter was
inserted??, extreme pain, examinations by doctor cat scans and overnight stay for observation. history given several
times to as many doctors searching for anything that might explain current
problem, told that it could be my appendix or maybe my Gall stones or a cyst
they found on my adrenal gland, Oh and I had bleeding esophageus too and then
one bright spark thought I had a bowel block. Bingo, bowel block - easy -
lots of laxatives and fluids for a couple of days and you’ll be ok, so I was
told, the reality proved a little different. So there I am in bed on fluids
only while I was shitting water, next came an infection from a cannula they
inserted into my hand. Then things went really downhill, I went into an
episode of Hepatic Encephalopathy and woke up two days later with no memory
of the past two days. I arranged my own discharge and after a course of
antibiotics to clear the infection I’m back home and in great shape, back
onto my organic diet with high focus on nutrition and just…well recovering
from this latest ordeal. During the nightmare a few very special people made
all the difference. What
does not kill me makes me stronger. Life’s a funny thing aint it |
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